The road to recovery has its twists and turns. There are moments of triumph and times when you are going to stumble. But a nagging voice — perfectionism — can make recovery a rough ride. This inner critic demands flawlessness and blows mistakes out of proportion. It holds you back and whispers doubts.
Perfectionism can be a burden, particularly during recovery. The good news is that you can ditch those unrealistic expectations. Your journey is about progress, not perfection. Let’s explore why perfectionism hurts recovery and how self-compassion can help.
Why Perfectionism Makes Recovery Tougher
Sometimes, the idea of being perfect can get in the way of getting better. Perfectionism loves black-and-white thinking, where anything less than perfect equals total failure. In the realm of recovery, this can play out in a few ways:
- Fear of Relapse: The anxiety of messing up can be paralyzing, preventing you from fully engaging in therapy and learning healthy coping skills. Recognize that relapse is a possibility, but it isn’t your fate.
- Setbacks are Not Full Stops: A slip-up can trigger harsh self-criticism, pushing you into isolation and making you want to give up. Tell yourself, “For every setback, there is an even bigger step forward.” Then, take it!
- Celebrating Wins Feels Awkward: Perfectionism makes it hard to acknowledge your achievements, big or small. This can make recovery feel unrewarding and suck the motivation out of you. You don’t have to make a big deal about each goal you reach, but always allow yourself to experience the moment with the joy you deserve.
Self-Compassion: The Gift You Give Yourself
Self-compassion is the antidote to perfectionism. It means treating yourself with kindness and understanding, just like you would a friend or loved one going through a tough time in their life.
Recognizing how self-compassion helps you heal:
- Acceptance Over Judgment: Self-compassion lets you acknowledge struggles without self-blame. It encourages you to learn from experiences without dwelling on them.
- Bouncing Back from Setbacks: When you regard setbacks with self-compassion, they become opportunities for growth. Everyone makes mistakes, and this understanding helps you bounce back stronger.
- Celebrating Every Step Forward: Self-compassion creates space for you to acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small a step. This fuels your motivation and makes recovery feel more rewarding.
Tips to Abandon Perfectionism and Embrace Progress
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: When that inner critic starts roaring, ask yourself, “Would I talk to a friend like this?” You probably wouldn’t, so do not treat yourself with any less respect.
- Progress, Not Perfection: Attending a therapy session is a win. Resisting cravings for two days in a row? Awesome! Pat yourself on the back (every time) for all the positive changes you are making.
Tip: Keeping a recovery journal can help you track your progress. When you’re having a rough patch, look back at how far you’ve come. - Be Present: Pause and take a deep breath before internalizing perfectionism. Mindfulness helps you observe your thoughts without judgment. By noticing perfectionist tendencies, you will not be controlled by them. This may take some practice before it becomes second nature.
- Take Care of Yourself: Self-care is vital during recovery. Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This could be taking a daily walk, catching up with supportive friends, eating healthier, or getting to bed earlier.
- Don’t Go It Alone: This recovery journey is yours, but you don’t have to walk alone. There are people who care about you and who want to see you succeed. Therapists, support groups, friends, and family can offer encouragement, guidance, and a listening ear. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.
Remember, You’re Not Alone…
Recovery is a journey, not a destination. It is OK to make mistakes, and you probably will. Perfectionism is a common obstacle in recovery, but by embracing self-compassion and celebrating your progress, you can overcome it and build a healthier, happier life.
Your journey toward recovery and sobriety begins at Beachside Rehab in West Palm Beach, Florida. We offer comprehensive, holistic inpatient and outpatient detox and drug and alcohol rehab. Please call 866-349-1770 to speak with one of our trained admissions counselors.
Photo by Isabella Fischer on Unsplash